Webinar (Replay) – 5 Insider Tips For Cultivating Relationships That Yield Humongous Results

(Original date: April 28, 2016)

Relationships make the world go round but few of us were ever taught HOW to maximize our net worth through our network.

In just 60 minutes, I’ll share my 5-tips on how to cultivate relationships that yield humongous results. Brimming with examples from my own personal success, this “serial asker” spills my  insider secrets about how to catapult relationships into dollar in your bank account.

Discover How To…

  1. Test if your relationships are helping or hurting your bank account
  2. Avoid the #1 professional mistake that most women make and they don’t even know!
  3. Cultivate relationships you haven’t even made yet!
  4. Create your own revenue and media generating opportunities!
  5. Master the easy techniques to authentically ask for help!

If you feel like you are on the treadmill of life, not getting ahead or achieving what you want, you’ll want to treat yourself to these 60 minutes of learning, inspiration and action plans. Life begins with the permission you give yourself to succeed!

 

Hosted By: Nicole Matthews

As an in-demand speaker on entrepreneurship and personal development, I have presented across the globe, including Scotland and Mexico. I am also the author of Permission: Stop Competing and Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, and owner of The Henley Co, a global event, travel and lifestyle management firm. In all aspects of my work, I champion the importance of designing an authentic and prosperous life!

The Other Far Worse F Word

To my joy and delight, my article, ‘The Other Far Worse F Word” was published in Elephant Journal, an online publication with over 14 million monthly views. The content on Elephant Journal is dedicated to living a mindful, authentic life. I’m a huge fan of the content so when I took a bold chance and submitted my work, I was thrilled when they said yes!

As of today (May 13, 2015), the article has had over 16,000 views and was moved to the front page of the site within 3 hours of being posted. I’m humbled by the response for my article.

The original article can be found at: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/05/the-other-far-worse-f-word/ but a short cut is below!

Apathy

The Other Far Worse F Word

To the chagrin of my mother, I like (no, love) the f-word.

I realize that it isn’t Namaste appropriate and I probably make my third eye angry when I blurt it out loud, but at times there really is no better word to fill in the blank, to express an emotion, or to tell someone where to go. I do my best to not drop the infamous f-bomb in social settings where I am required to wear a name tag, but I can’t promise that I do not think it or secretly direct it at some idiot on a regular basis.

With no filter between my brain and my mouth, the f-word and I have created many memories together. When I recently turned 40, I decided I was old enough to no longer apologize for dropping my favorite adjective and noun at the drop of the hat. With what my heart endured in the last decade, embracing the f-word without abandon seems like a free gift with purchase.

There is another f-word that I believe does more damage than the f’er I have constantly on the tip of my tongue. The word that excites me as much as a wet noodle is “fine.” Even when it rolls out of my mouth, I start to gag. Have you noticed that nothing good ever comes from the word fine?

How do I look in this dress? You look fine.

Are you mad at me? No, I’m fine.

How are you? I’m fine, thanks.

Ironically, the definition of “fine” can vary between “high quality” (adjective) or “pleasing manner, very well” (adverb). If fine is the mistress of positive, how did it become the word that yields a response as exciting as chips with no guacamole? Fine is now the filler word we use when we don’t really have anything else to say. When our emotions are dragging on the floor, it’s all we can muster.

I hate fine; I hate everything the modern generation has allowed it to become. I strongly dislike when I feel fine because that means I am content. At the ripe old age of 40-ish, content is like making the B-team instead of being selected as an all-star. Content and her cousin, fine, are the bridesmaids—never the bride.

Being fine equates to getting sucked into the Alanis Morisette song, Ironic; “It’s like a black fly in your chardonnay.” It’s still fine to drink, but you lose interest because Jeff Goldblum took a diver in your glass. (Will the younger generation understand the movie reference I made there?)

So in an attempt to turn my frown upside down, I’m campaigning to rid the world of fine. If you are living in a life that you didn’t design, going to a job every day that doesn’t fill your soul and/or in a relationship that feels like you are wearing a heavy coat full of burden, you are a fully paid up member of the Fine Club. In case you need a smack in the f’ing face, you are bordering between the neighborhoods of content and just getting by. Believe me, I was the mayor of this town for a long time! I realize I can’t point my finger at you without pointing three back at me.

In spite of every great intention, when I rounded into my 30’s, I found myself in a very high profile job in corporate America; I regretted it on the third day yet I stayed five years. I landed in a relationship that started as a casual friendship yet became emotional abusive; it lasted two years and 11 months longer than it ever should have. And I found myself existing in a world that went from colorful to dark gray because the architect of my life apparently took a hiatus. It should come as no surprise that I look back at my 30’s and can’t help but think, “f*ck off!”

It’s easy to point fingers at my ability to choose the wrong job, the painfully wrong man or the wrong life; being the victim allows for so many excuses. The honest reason my life fell off the rails is because I let it. I didn’t allow the inner voice that spoke loudly, on the third day at my fancy corporate job, to completely derail the American dream of having a consistent paycheck every two weeks.

Regrettably, I closed my ears when my intuition raised its hand and started campaigning for the end of my relationship the first time he used the c-word. As my life imploded, exhausted from being in a place of crisis of management versus thriving, I shut down completely. The only answer I could muster up when asked how I was doing was always the infamous “fine.” Life was winning against an opponent that was no longer in the game.

They say time heals all wounds, and as much as I believe that, I have come to learn that giving yourself permission to live the life you want really is the best remedy. When you start to view your life through a selfish lens, you can no longer live with the rose-colored glasses of fine.

I realize that the use of the word selfish may shock some but it’s really the crux of the solution. I’m not giving you permission to be selfish so you can have the biggest piece of cake (in your 40’s, your metabolism slows to molasses so, believe me, leave the cake alone!) Instead, selfish is meant to be a rallying cry so that you put yourself first. There is a reason the airlines tell us to put our oxygen mask on first before we help others. When we do not allow our heart to explore the vocation our life intended, we experience turbulence. And this turbulence doesn’t come with complimentary peanuts.

The next time you utter the word fine, I implore you to do a gut check. If fine starts to pepper your daily language, it’s time to call in the architect of your own life and start to make plans for a major overhaul. Scary, sure; doable, absolutely! Please don’t ever get to a position where your job, relationship or view on life is just “fine.” Take it from someone who lived far too long in that space; life is winning when you get to that point.

With self-initiated permission to design the life you want to live, I promise there is a whole lot of “f*ck yeah” ahead!

~

Author: Nicole Matthews

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Flickr
About Nicole Matthews

Nicole Matthews is an entrepreneur, author, speaker and champion for living your best life. As a global event, travel and lifestyle concierge, she helps clients to enjoy the playground of life. Her new book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live is available on Amazon. Nicole craves humor and storytelling, as much as the perfect accessory to accentuate an outfit. Deep down, she believes her days performing, at the age of 9, as a showgirl in Las Vegas, have prepared her for when Dancing With the Stars calls.

Meet the Author: Permission by Nicole R. Matthews | Arbiter News

I am delighted to have been profiled by Arbiter News in their Meet the Author section. My favorite question, outside of the chance to talk about  my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live was when they asked who I would invite to a dinner party. Who would you invite if you could only have 5 guests (alive or dead and real or make believe?)

Meet the Author: Permission by Nicole R. Matthews | Arbiter News.

 

thc_bookcover_final

What is Keeping You Locked Up?

 

Permission Chapter 2

In Chapter 2 of my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I ask the question, “What is keeping you locked up?” You may think your life is chugging along without much interruption but I would challenge you to think about the story you are telling yourself that doesn’t allow you the permission to design your best life. Perhaps it stems from childhood, or an ex telling you that you are less than, or comparing yourself to every Photoshopped woman in magazines.

Embarrassingly, I held onto something that happened to me in high school for over 20 years. It all stems from my self-doubt about my prom date asking me out of charity versus out of desire. I share my lack of self-esteem for all to read in Chapter 2.  It wasn’t until I met my prom date at our 20th reunion that I was able to silence the tape in my head about not being good enough. Twenty years of telling myself I was less than and a charity case crept into all of my future relationships with men. I had allowed myself to craft a story that was untrue and to live in a place of feeling like a bridesmaid and never a bride. Take it from me, that has been exhausting.

What I’ve come to learn is that usually the crazy story we are telling ourselves is far from reality, but until we face the demon head on (in my case, admitting to my prom date that I thought he took me out of charity and being shot down by his reality) it paralyzes us from being authentic and soulfully happy.

What is keeping you locked up?

Are You The Architect Of Your Own Life?

 

Permission Chapter 1

In Chapter 1 of my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I ask the reader if they are the “architect of your own life?” On the surface, it seems easy to say yes because you have checked the box on the work, the relationships and the dreams you have. But I would challenge you to probe a little deeper. Do you drive to work dreading your job? Are you in a relationship that is “fine” but not extraordinary? Just because there is nothing wrong in a relationship doesn’t mean everything is right. Are you just existing instead of thriving?

I realized that I was allowing my life to live me; which is why I found myself in a job I didn’t love, a relationship that felt like I was wearing a heavy emotional trench coat, and a life devoid of dreams. When I called my architect up for duty, things began to change. I found my voice, and with that voice came a power and internal authority that had long been missing.

Being the architect of your own life forces you to start living life, not just letting life live you. You have to be present, engaged, and always committed to a bigger cause – your personal happiness! I had to draft a blueprint, like every good architect, that illustrated what it was that I wanted to build. (Permission, Pg. 7)

Do you believe you are the architect of your own life? Do you feel present, engaged and committed to your personal happiness? Most importantly, do you feel like you live life or does life live you? Happiness is a destination only you can build.

Drop a comment below and let me know what you are doing to design the life you want to live!

Permission – Wow Reviews!

thc_bookcover_finalWhen I wrote my first book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming support and positive reviews. To write a book is a very personal journey, and although I wrote very quickly (over 200 pages in 6 weeks), I found the process resonated with me long after. I’m very proud of the fact Permission seems to be striking a cord with readers and audiences as I share my story.

Here is just a sampling of some of the reviews I’ve received:

One may think that Permission is meant mainly to inspire and encourage young women to take command of their lives. Well, I am a male twice Nicole’s age and I am inspired and encouraged by this book, too. I recommend it from three perspectives. First, the storyline is so fascinating and Nicole’s writing style almost puts one in her skin as one feels the intense joy and pain of her personal and business lives. Second, important points are well articulated: like authentic intentions, followed by aggressive pursuing, risk, and trying are what brings good fortune, along with sound social advice, such as dropping basement dweller “friends’. Nicole’s ultimate success proves that her advice works. Third, the ‘how to do it’ portions are helpful.The theme, Permission, is all pervasive as we confront authority, ego, self-concept and will. I found the book persuasive and a good read.
-Rick Kaylor January 10, 2015

 

Nicole made me laugh and cry (at the same time) … she has a delightful way of telling stories that I could completely relate to. So many women (and men) will enjoy this book and probably feel exactly the same way. Nicole’s life has such inspiration and aspiration, I loved reading all about her experiences and successes. The fact that she has a great network of friends and family and a real “go getter” attitude has made me look at my life and give myself Permission to seek the life I want to live. Thank you for such a great read, I will tell everyone I know to read this book! – Kelly

 

Permission! is an engaging and inspiring read. Nicole Matthews’ voice is at once both strong and vulnerable, and offers those of us who feel like we have to do it all the guidance to lean on others to help us accomplish our goals. The raw, personal stories Nicole uses to illustrate her ideas for achieving success connect the reader in a way that makes this book hard to put down. -Christene

Check out the rest of the reviews on Amazon.

Thank you for all of the Permission support and love!

PS – Need a little more Permission inspiration – check out my Permission board on Pinterest!

Introducing Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want to Live!

thc_bookcover_final

Thanks to the creative genius, Ceci Johnson of Ceci New York, I’m proud to show you the cover for my forthcoming book, Permission – Stop Competing and Start Creating the Life You Want to Live. The book will be published before the end of 2014.

Would you like to spread the Permission message? I’m busy booking speaking engagements so let’s chat!

About the Book…

Forget “leaning in” or “leaning out” to get ahead both personally and professionally, Nicole Matthews, Founder and Lifestyle Architect of The Henley Company, champions the power of “leaning on” others to help you to create the life you want to live by being own architect. This witty, humorous and self-deprecating tale of a 40-something that has had more fascinating life experiences than dates, will have you realizing that giving yourself permission is step number one to start living your best life! As the designer of the highly successful, Sex and the City, movie launch party events, and as a leader in the special events community, Matthews is at the top of her game, but not without having to overcome challenges and mend emotionally, financially and personally.

The personal journey of Nicole R. Matthews, a social media loving, generation x’er, who cherishes unique experiences, stamps in her passports and trying to make sense of the opposite sex, is humorously chronicled in Permission – Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live.

Through her stories, Matthews shares the heartbreak she endured that was so deep it rivaled Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall, a depression so profound she spent the night in the ER with the other crazies, and a self-esteem demon that liked to rear its head in the most inopportune moments – like on a date with a man-person! But yet, in spite of the setbacks and the “stuff” she faced, she still has found the courage to give herself permission to get out of broken relationships, start a successful business, and create the opportunities to honor her most precious authentic intentions.

For Matthews, Permission-Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live is a catalyst for launching The Permission Mission, a community of individuals who commit to designing the life they want to live, and to create opportunities that add unique experiences to the fabric of their lives. As part of The Permission Mission, Matthews will start Concierge Circles, a social club focused on creating a community of women who “lean on” each other for support, encourage each other to become architects of their own lives, manage their busy schedules and seek personal enrichment.